Keep Smiling Beautiful!

Hello beautiful, I'm Natalie and i share my blog with an amazing person called Mara. This is YOUR advice blog. We are on daily and try to answer your question and worries as soon as we can.
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Anonymous: I'm a really bad friend. You see, one of my best friends like to whine over everything and i mean it. Its just whinefest everywhere and frankly, it gets annoying. I mean when she isn't whining she is super great! Though like every time she does she expects me to back her up though now I have to force myself to because we don't have the same ideas and it's not me. How do I tell her this without offending her? I still love her to death though it's just this is tearing us and it's silly that it is.

I think that you should discuss it with her. Talk to her at a time when she’s clear-headed and doesn’t have something on mind or something upsetting her. Tell her that you love her and that you want her to listen with an open mind but that you disagree with a few concepts of hers. Tell her your point of view and that no matter how different your ideas are, you still love her anyway and would support her with anything but that you will also start giving your honest opinion on matters. Tell her that a good friend always gives their honest opinion (although kindly, don’t be disrespectful of hers) and that, sure, she doesn’t want you lying to her. 

Just have that talk rationally and try being kind and putting it in straightforward terms and hopefully she’ll get it. Best friends are supposed to be honest with each other and you’ll be doing the right thing. Oh but try not to use the word “whine” because that’s not the kindest word to use. Start with the basics (what I mentioned up) and you can get to the complaining later. 

Good luck!

-Mara 

2 weeks ago with 0 notes

Anonymous: i have an awful obsession that i feel i always need to be #1. i hate it so much though i feel i have to have the best grades, the best this, best that and it of course never plays out. i guess i need it to impress my parents. my grades are coming out with all a's and one b and i was proud till my mom was upset i couldn't raise my b to an a. after that i just felt like i have to be the top for everything i ever do. i hate the feeling so much, how do i stop feeling like this because i hate it!

I see your problem here and I think that it stems from you thinking that what you do isn’t good enough no matter what. You think that your parents won’t be happy with you or proud of you until you’ve had perfect marks all the time or have done everything exactly as they say you should, right? 

Well, wrong. Sweetheart your parents love you anyway. You are good enough without having to always prove it. I’m not saying that you should stop trying to get good marks or do your best, but I’m saying that it isn’t a must and that when you do those things you should be doing them for yourself not for your parents. This feeling you have is because you’re pushing yourself way too hard. Harder than you should. I need you to sit with yourself and think, really think, of who you are doing this for and why. And know that even if you decide to take a break and even if you get Bs or even Cs every now and then, that doesn’t mean you’re less good than you were before. You’re trying your best and you deserve praise for it, not disappointment. 

Parents sometimes forget that their actions aren’t always understood correctly and I’m sure that your mom wants what’s best for you. She isn’t disappointed or upset with you, but she can’t see that this is taking its toll on you. Talk to her, tell her that you’re doing your best and that it hurts when it feels like your best isn’t good enough, and more importantly you be proud of yourself and stop taking on more than you can handle. Remind yourself that it’s okay to come second every now and then and that a break is in order. After all you are human and you need your rest.

Slow down a bit and take more time to yourself, and remember that no one can be perfect all the time xx

-Mara  

2 weeks ago with 0 notes

f4bulazy:

Props to my 6 year old self for calling out bullshit at an early age.
"Stop planting flowers in peoples yards who aren’t going to water them."
(via bluebrrry)

2 weeks ago with 85,785 notes

Anonymous: my mom keeps making fun of my weight and makes me hate myself. she grumbles every time when i shop "your big sister never had to go the plus section." she makes jokes about how much i eat and over the summer i should just eat liquids. she makes me not want to eat because she groans every time i go up to get a bit more of dinner. she complains how my pants never fit and all the money i am wasting on clothes. i feel bullied though she gets defensive every time i tell her to stop. what do i do?

If you want to loose weight you need your family’s support and encouragement. You can’t let her make you feel this way because soon enough you’ll lack confidence and it’ll start to bring you down. You have to talk to your mum and really tell her how this affects your life, sit her down and honestly explain the effects it has. Do you want to loose weight? You’re beautiful for you, never forget <3.

-Nat

2 weeks ago with 0 notes

Anonymous: i was talking to this girl at school and she asked me if i had a boyfriend. i told her no,she tired to make me feel that i would never find one. i thanked her and all and just told her that wasn't the case because i am a lesbian. she gave me a weird look and then stated that i am going to hell and was telling her other friends how i am a lesbian and they all sneered and now they decided to make my life hell and i feel dumb for saying anything! they say rude slurs to my face and make my life hell

Who cares what sexuality you are. People have no respect and that’s just disgusting. If they are truly your friends they will respect what sexual status you believe in and respect you for you. Talk to the girl you first told and ask her what gave her the right to tell the other girls and even try to make fun of you like that. Don’t listen to people’s judgemental comments because in the end, whether you like boys or girls this doesn’t define you as a person. People are just cruel. 

-Nat xoxo

2 weeks ago with 1 note