Anonymous: i have an awful obsession that i feel i always need to be #1. i hate it so much though i feel i have to have the best grades, the best this, best that and it of course never plays out. i guess i need it to impress my parents. my grades are coming out with all a's and one b and i was proud till my mom was upset i couldn't raise my b to an a. after that i just felt like i have to be the top for everything i ever do. i hate the feeling so much, how do i stop feeling like this because i hate it!
I see your problem here and I think that it stems from you thinking that what you do isn’t good enough no matter what. You think that your parents won’t be happy with you or proud of you until you’ve had perfect marks all the time or have done everything exactly as they say you should, right?
Well, wrong. Sweetheart your parents love you anyway. You are good enough without having to always prove it. I’m not saying that you should stop trying to get good marks or do your best, but I’m saying that it isn’t a must and that when you do those things you should be doing them for yourself not for your parents. This feeling you have is because you’re pushing yourself way too hard. Harder than you should. I need you to sit with yourself and think, really think, of who you are doing this for and why. And know that even if you decide to take a break and even if you get Bs or even Cs every now and then, that doesn’t mean you’re less good than you were before. You’re trying your best and you deserve praise for it, not disappointment.
Parents sometimes forget that their actions aren’t always understood correctly and I’m sure that your mom wants what’s best for you. She isn’t disappointed or upset with you, but she can’t see that this is taking its toll on you. Talk to her, tell her that you’re doing your best and that it hurts when it feels like your best isn’t good enough, and more importantly you be proud of yourself and stop taking on more than you can handle. Remind yourself that it’s okay to come second every now and then and that a break is in order. After all you are human and you need your rest.
Slow down a bit and take more time to yourself, and remember that no one can be perfect all the time xx
2 weeks ago with 0 notes